When your children earn a reward card you will notice the words LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, GENTLENESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, KINDNESS, SELF-CONTROL and THE GOLDEN RULE on the reward cards.

Their deeds do not have to match the word on the reward card – you can give them any one of the cards each time they do something that merits a reward. I have a good reason for putting those words on the cards; I want children to ask questions about what those words mean. If they don’t ask then you should bring it to their attention. Take the opportunity when you are giving a reward to point out what the card says. Ask them what they think it means and talk to them about that attribute. Give them examples and ask them to give you an example. They are the Fruit of the Spirit and can be found in Paul’s letter to the Galatians. The Golden Rule can be found in the book of Matthew.

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No it’s not a typo...

Rote: Repetition, mechanical repetition of something so that it is remembered.

If you are using Nanny Cards you know that there are two components to the system. The system works best if you are using both the 4 Nanny Cards and the Reward Cards. It seems that some want to avoid the unpleasantness of the dreaded “card flip” perhaps anticipating the reaction that they will get from their child. I assure you that if you are consistently flipping the cards when your child misbehaves he will get the picture pretty quickly. He will learn by rote.

The more consistent you are the faster they learn which means fewer card flips a week from now. The other thing I want to say about the card flip is that you must be immediate with the process. You should not wait until you have a full blown crisis or melt down. You shouldn’t even be at the point where you are angry or irritated. If you know that a temper tantrum is coming because your child always stomps his foot before throwing himself to the floor then you should flip his card the minute he stomps his foot. You inform him that he has just gotten an OOPS card and why. You also remind him of the acceptable behavior. If he continues with his tantrum then he gets a double OOPS and you implement an intermediate consequence. If he begins to throw another tantrum that same afternoon you must move the double OOPS to the back revealing the CRASH card and implement the more severe consequence.

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So now you have a foundation on which to build the next time your child thinks about having a temper tantrum. The idea is that when he sees you go to the cards and flip one when he stomps his foot, he will know what’s coming next if he chooses to continue. Children will respond positively to consistency and predictability. I do not want to neglect to mention that it is important to help your child express his or her anger appropriately. After you have diffused the situation you need to teach your child some alternatives to stomping his foot and throwing a tantrum. When you see your child implement the alternative you have taught him be sure to give him a reward card and tell him how pleased you are.